“The Lord himself goes before
you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be
afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy
31:8
As I pass the fifth year since my
diagnosis of multiple myeloma, I’m amazed at how little this disease has
negatively impacted my life. By God’s grace, I can remember more joyful than
painful days. My loved ones give me an incredulous look when I say this, and I
have to remember that sometimes it is more difficult to watch someone you love
struggle than it is to suffer yourself. But even though I mean it—I don’t
think cancer has taken much away from me in terms of quality of life—that
statement might sound a little disingenuous to those who know what I’ve been
through. Yet, when I try to focus on the events that “should” be considered
terrible, I’m unable to feel the depth of despair that others assume I should
be experiencing. I have worried that I’m in a perpetual state of denial, or
perhaps too emotionally shallow, or that my survival instincts are off the
charts. But I know the real reason I’m blessed with such a perspective: It’s
because I’m not in this alone. I’ve never been alone in this. Jesus has been
beside me, holding my hand or even carrying me through all of the traumatic
times. By God’s grace, I’m able to dwell on all the joys that each year brings,
in spite of cancer, and sometimes even because of it.
I am not in this alone, and if you
are a follower of Jesus, you are never alone either. Jesus faithfully continues
to carry me through the tough days. His presence changes EVERYTHING. On days
when I have to stay home to recover from a treatment, it can be tempting to
feel sorry for myself and to let loneliness lead to self-pity. Instead, I’ve
come to look upon those times as opportunities. They are precious opportunities
to bask in the presence of the One who loves us more than we can fathom. He knows
us intimately, loves us deeply, and will comfort us with the most incredible
peace and assurance. Spending time with Him not only changes the level of pain
and sadness during the trials: it changes my entire perspective on what has
been and on what lies ahead. During times of pain or uncertainty, He draws even
nearer to me so that my memories of these events have a sweet, almost
nostalgic, feel to them. The overriding memory is not the painful suffering,
but the way He wrapped me in His reassuring presence. Even today, as I sit home
with a virus because of my compromised immune system, I can rejoice that I’m
not sitting here alone. I’m not alone. I never will be. And you,
believer, are never alone either.
Oswald Chambers writes in his
devotional My Utmost for His
Highest about Jesus’ promise
always to be with us: “When it seems that there is nothing and no one to help
you, say to yourself, “But ’The Lord is my helper’ this very moment, even in my
present circumstance.” Are you learning to listen to God before you speak, or
are you saying things and then trying to make God’s Word fit what you have
said? Take hold of the Father’s assurance, and then say with strong courage, “I
will not fear.” It does not matter what evil or wrong may be in our way,
because “He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you . . .’ ”
Kutless: “Carry Me to the Cross”
Highly Recommended!
A beautiful expression of praise that we are never alone:
Dear Jesus, Thank You for your
beautiful presence. Thank you for the grace you show me every day. Thank you
for carrying me every moment. Thank you for turning my mourning into dancing,
and my trials into victories. Thank you for all the answered prayers—the
healings you have performed in the lives of many loved ones, the beautiful way
you received our mother into glory this past year, and the testimonies you
continue to give our family. Most of all, thank you for your promise never to
leave me. I pray that all Your children might receive the blessing of the
knowledge and assurance of Your comforting presence. Amen!
