Thursday, August 29, 2013

From Strength to Strength

 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

After I was diagnosed with cancer, my husband and my father worked hard to put an attractive, adhesive “engraving” above our fireplace mantel that read: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings as eagles. Isaiah 40:31.” I was confined to a chair next to that mantel where I read those words over and over again, but since I couldn’t even get up from the chair by myself, I couldn’t imagine ever regaining my former strength. Yet I continued to hope and to trust and to pray, and months later I found myself sauntering past those words at quite a brisk pace, smiling to myself at how fortunate I was that the medicine was doing its work. Then I glanced outside where, right in our backyard on a low branch above the stream, were two bald eagles, visiting for that one and only time. Sometimes, God has to send me a visual reminder of all that He does for me, in case I begin to think that I have done it on my own. Yes, the medicine HAD done its work, but I had God to thank for that, too. He promised that I would “soar on wings as eagles” and I think of that when I am enjoying long walks or travelling by airplane to destinations that I didn’t think I would ever see again.

But physical strength is not the most important gift that He has given me. Rather, it is the strength of my mind that has carried me through the ups and downs of the past few years. Many of my most difficult battles have been fought in my mind instead of in my body. Sometimes it’s even easier emotionally to undergo treatment and be actively engaged in fighting my cancer than to enjoy remission. Remission can feel like the “calm before the storm”, particularly with a cancer like multiple myeloma when the relapse rate is high. Training my mind to release all my fears and worries about the future and to focus on the joys of today takes daily work. Sometimes I can only take baby steps, but progress can still be made if I focus on going “from strength to strength.”  (Psalm 84:7) I don’t need to focus on the entirety of the rest of my life (however long that may be), but just on the next moment. He has given me the strength for this day, and He will give me the strength for tomorrow. I might not feel like I have enough strength for tomorrow right now, but He promises that it WILL be there.

A friend sent me a bookmark from one of her favorite devotions (www.dailyword.com) and I tried to read it every day during the first year of my recovery, as an affirmation and a reminder of God’s faithfulness.

The strength of God is present and active within my body and mind. God’s vision for me is wholeness and vitality. I align my thoughts, feelings and beliefs with these truths and remove any barriers I may have built in fear. I open to the flow of divine energy and life that strengthens, sustains and heals me in body and mind.
                Just as divine strength infuses my body, it also empowers me to use my mind constructively. In faith, I focus my thoughts on what I want to experience. If I find myself worrying, I gently set those worries aside and affirm I am strong in body and mind. I draw from the wellspring of divine strength within.
                “The Lord shall guide you continually…and you shall be like a watered garden,…like a spring of water, whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:11


Lord, give me the strength that I need for this day. Deliver me from all physical, mental, and spiritual weakness, that “I may rejoice and be glad all my days.” (Psalm 90:15) I hold fast to the promise that you have made in Isaiah 41:10: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” In Jesus’ name, Amen.