...Not THIS Day!

“…Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.” Joshua 1:5

This week I’ve felt a burden for cancer patients who are consistently plagued by fear, whether as acute anxiety or a slow, peace-draining worry. I’ll confess that I’ve found fear to be more difficult to deal with than any other side effect of cancer. Friends who’ve been in remission for more than 12 years confide that they are still fearful about their cancer’s return. For the majority of us, the fight against fear must be waged on a daily basis. Fear is like a cancer of the mind, eating insidiously away at our inner peace until we are reduced to weak, empty little vessels paralyzed by a fear of troubles that we don’t even have yet. Just like those malignant cells, fear will always try to sneak back into our lives. Yet we are allowing it to “win”, we are handing our cancer the victory, if we simply accept fear as a normal part of this new life. God’s plan for every day of our lives is that we walk victoriously in His word, in His perfect peace. Throughout the Bible, He gives countless commands not to be frightened, dismayed, terrified, anxious or fearful. Yes, cancer is a frightful enemy, but God is infinitely stronger. Yes, cancer leads to death for many, but Christ has already defeated death on the cross. There is no death for the one who entrusts his soul to The One. Our ultimate salvation aside, the fact is, even without God’s grace and intervention, most folks are going to have an opportunity to defeat their cancer for many, MANY days. In the case of multiple myeloma, novel drugs are practically guaranteeing somewhere between 500 and 2000 victorious days, depending on the statistics that you like to follow. Why should we hand the victory to our cancer for a single one of those days? We all know that in our fallen world, there will come a day when we leave this earth and rise to meet our Maker. We were not created to remain in this world--this world is not our home. But as Aragorn told his men in The Lord of the Rings, "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails...but it is not this day." As I like to tell myself, a day may come when cancer gets the best of me, but it is NOT THIS DAY. This day is for celebrating the victory of Life over Death, of Joy over Fear, of the Present over the Future, of Heaven over Earth.

The words to the hymn below spoke to my soul so completely this week during one of my daily battles to send fear away. It was apparently sung at the funerals of Teddy Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, and Robert E. Lee, as well as at the deathbed of Andrew Jackson, and has been sung by American soldiers for more than 100 years. By making these words my own, I can “sing away” my fear and defeat cancer yet again, one day at a time. (Emphases are mine.)

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Thank You, Lord, for this daily victory over my fear. With You by my side, fear has no choice but to flee. Keep us close, Lord. Help us to feel Your presence, Your provision, Your perfect peace. We know that You will never, ever forsake us. You promise always to rescue us. We stand upon Your promises, trusting fully in Your mercy and grace. Amen.

Fullness of Life in the Land of the Living

“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!” Psalm 27:13

In his book Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, actor Michael J. Fox shares what life is like living with Parkinson’s disease. In spite of the noticeable, steady decline that he experiences in his quality of life, he does his best not to focus on what lies ahead. Michael advises those who suffer from chronic, debilitating illness not to even try to imagine the future. First of all, he says, 99% of the time events will not play out the way you imagine. But in the small chance that they do and your worst fears are realized, why make yourself live through it twice? Francois Fenelon adds this bit of reassurance: “Often what you imagine to be so terrible and unbearable is not so bad when it actually happens.” Only someone who has experienced numerous trials could make such a statement. Neither my autologous stem cell transplant nor my allogeneic (donor) bone marrow transplant was as horrible as I feared it would be. Yet I was completely unprepared for an intensive 96-hour regimen of continuous chemotherapy (and not just one session, but two!). Thank the Lord that I hadn’t known to worry about the intensive chemo in advance, and my transplants taught me to “roll with the punches”, as I soon learned that there was no surefire way to predict either the physical effects or the outcomes. I held onto the hope I found in Psalm 27:13, which declares, “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!” I recited that verse almost every day, and by training my thoughts to discover and appreciate God’s gifts in my life, I forgot to waste time worrying about tomorrow. I’m not immune to anxiety—far from it! But I take it the cross, where I lay down “worry” and pick up “hope”. And because He is faithful, I’m able to experience His goodness in the “land of the living” on a daily basis. What an amazing God we serve!

Lord Jesus, help me see you rather than my problems. Help me to see how big you are, how strong you are, and how utterly victorious you are. When fear tries to sneak into my life and rob me of the present joy, help me to cast it away quickly and completely. You know the future, and I can trust you with all of it, as you HAVE overcome the world. Thank you for the cross, Amen.