“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock
and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:5-6
So many times during my years as a
cancer patient my plans are suddenly interrupted by a reminder of my disease,
and life comes to an abrupt standstill. The most challenging days are by far
waiting for those interminable test results. The hours in my days are difficult
to fill with any kind of meaningful focus, and constant thoughts of “what-if”
put me in a very vulnerable position spiritually. The “what-ifs” quickly give
way to uncertainty, which gives way to fear, which could easily lead to
despair. I begin to doubt all the treatment choices I have made in the past,
and wonder whether I ever heard God correctly. I begin to doubt my doctor, in
spite of the excellent care she has given me for more than 6 years and the undeniable
fact that she was brought to me by God just when I was about to make a major
mistake at a different hospital. But worst of all, I begin to doubt that God is
in control. Have I been following His lead correctly? Am I really where He
wants me to be? Why would He bring me to this place?
When life comes to a standstill, I have
two choices: fret myself into deeper anxiety as I seek the world’s wisdom and
spend more time on research than in prayer, or throw myself on God's mercy and choose
to trust that He will lead me when the time is right. I can testify that the
first option does nothing to help me sleep at night; it robs me of my daily
struggle to have victory over cancer. While researching my disease is not a bad
thing in and of itself, the Internet soon becomes my god. Researching blindly brings
only greater anxiety; it is only productive when God leads me, and not vice
versa. Remembering that He is sovereign, that He is still and forever in
control, will always produce peace and will lead to much greater clarity. As
Charles Spurgeon so vividly puts it: “Cowardice says, ‘Retreat; go back to the
worldling’s way of action; you cannot play the Christian’s part, it is too
difficult. Relinquish your principles.’ But, however much Satan may urge this
course upon you, you cannot follow it if you are a child of God. His divine
fiat has bid you to go from strength to strength, and so you shall, and neither
death nor hell shall turn you from your course. What, if for a while you are
called to stand still—yet this is but to renew your strength for some greater
advance in due time."
Standing still may be God's plan for us;
it may be a time to pause and draw closer to Him, in preparation for what is to
come. Satan will swoop in during these times to plant all different seeds of
doubt; he will try to convince us that we have been on the wrong path. He will
do everything he can to pull us away from prayer by convincing us that it is
not helping. P.T. Forsyth said that, “The worst sin is prayerlessness”
and the root of all sin is self-sufficiency. We must not be tempted to take matters
into our own hands! If we have sat at God’s feet and
prayed, yet nothing seems to be happening, we must not give up on Him but
rather "stand still" and wait for His deliverance. In many times
throughout the Bible, God orders His people to “stand still” in order to SEE
their deliverance!
1 Samuel 12:16: “Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do
before your eyes!”
Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Psalm 46:10a: “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Every morning, a “Daily Blessing” is
delivered to my email address by Susie Larson (info@susielarson.com). This morning’s
was particularly fitting and beautiful: “May God give you extra grace to thrive
in life even when your heart is breaking. May you enjoy spilling-over-joy even
before the breakthrough comes. May you find cause to celebrate and rejoice over
all that is right in your world. Refuse to let your angst have the last say.
God is the Redeemer and makes all things new. Never give up hope. Keep
believing that God is good because He is, and He intends to redeem your story.
Blessings on your day.”
Heavenly
Father, Grant me the grace to wait patiently for You, and the will power not to
take matters into my own hands. Help me to stand still and wait expectantly,
with peace and joy, for the deliverance that You have planned. May this time be
a period of strengthening and growth. Thank You for Your perfect timing, Your
faithfulness, and Your great love for Your people. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
