“I have brought you
glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.” John 17:4
Most cancer patients battle fatigue on a regular, if not
daily, basis. When I have a break in my treatment every three weeks or so, I’m
amazed at how energetic I feel. It reminds me of the “nesting” activity that
would strike at the end of each of my pregnancies. I am bursting with new ideas
for improving the house, for new recipes, or for new curriculum for a high
school program I’m involved with. I pull out books that I’ve been yearning to
read, and I begin a major organizational project—or more accurately, several
projects at once—such as cleaning out the pantry or organizing my beloved
books. And then all my efforts come crashing to a halt a few days later when
the fatigue sets in again, that never-ending cycle of too much and too little
energy. Although it’s easy to blame my cancer for my lack of progress, the
truth is, I have just as much time every day as everyone else. It’s my pattern
of living that is the real problem.
Charles E. Hummel’s booklet “The Tyranny of the Urgent” is
worth rereading every few months. By using the life of Jesus as a model, Hummel
shows how we can have peace in our souls and joy in our tasks without the
constant burden of guilt over what we have left undone. For one thing, Jesus
was always about his Father’s task (“I
always do what pleases him.” John 8:29). That is why, Hummel writes, Jesus
was able to completely fulfill his ministry on earth in only three years. When
I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma more than five years ago, I hoped for at
least three years more to “minister” to my family like Jesus had. Instead, God
has graciously nearly doubled that time for me, yet I have wasted more hours
than I can bear to admit. I have missed endless opportunities to use my time to
glorify God. But our gracious Lord always gives me another chance, another day
to be used for Him.
The other lesson Hummel says we can learn from the life of
Jesus is the balance between time with God and time with others. Compared to
most Christians today, Jesus spent an amazing amount of time with his Father. He
actually abided with God on a constant basis, seeking His will and His purpose
every moment of the day. I tend to compartmentalize my prayer life and my
practical life, and of course the practical demands squeeze out my time with
the Lord. Learning to abide with Him in the midst of my activities has become a
major and exciting practice: when I do it right, I can feel peace and a nearly
leisurely sense in my spirit in the midst of busy moments. Abiding in Him and
being about His business makes it clear to me what the priorities should be in
my life. I’m able to prioritize the “important” and not become a slave to the
“urgent”.
Living with fatigue is not really the problem—God knows my
limitations and what He apportions for me will be better than anything I could
dream up for myself. As I heard on a Christian radio station recently: “God’s
plans are better than our dreams.” And if we are about His work, our lives will
be “finished” lives, no matter how long or short they might be.
Lord, I pray for Your
will to be done in my life and in the lives of those who seek you. As we abide
in You, show us how to use the time that You have given us. Let our lives be
“finished” lives that bring You glory and complete the work that You have given
us to do. Guide our decisions as we undertake new tasks and apportion our time.
And thank You for every one of our days, precious gifts from You. Amen.
